Second Chance With The First Love

Chapter 1

Travis

The sun is shining, and the ocean is calm. From my office window at Redwoods Tech, I can see the San Francisco skyline in the distance. 

“Just another perfect Northern California day,” I mutter to myself. It’s the kind that people imagine when they hear the word California, and not a whiff of fog in sight.

But I can’t enjoy it, even sitting in the CEO office of the billion-dollar company I founded. Not when all I can think about is yet another social media post from another college buddy getting married. 

Today it was Jack Foster, my fraternity brother. Last week, it was George Jones. With those two engaged, it leaves only me still single.

And then there was one.

The news hit me harder than I would have expected. I never thought that I’d be the last man standing. I was just on San Francisco Monthly’s annual “Most Eligible Bachelor” list last month. Clearly not as eligible as my schlubby college friends still living in basement apartments.

And the magazines with their lists — they’re not wrong. I made my first million before I was 22, and the last girl I hooked up with described my smile as devilish. 

The one before her called my smile devastating since the last smile she ever got to see was a look of pity as I told her, “It’s not you, it’s me.” It was the smile of someone lying through his teeth.

I haven’t found the perfect woman. I’ve barely found an adequate one for my tastes, hence why I need a new one as often as possible. It never bothered me before. Getting to sleep with whatever gorgeous woman I want isn’t exactly a hardship. Most guys would kill to have my life.

So why am I so bothered by this long-ago friend locking it down and committing to a life with just one woman for the rest of his life? One I wouldn’t even merit a one-night stand for me. Why has that stupid post made me question whether my personal life, filled with flings and short-term relationships, is empty rather than fun?

It’s not just the post. Not an hour after that update, I saw a Black woman in a café who made my heart skip a beat. She was a dead ringer for her. That killer figure, the dark curly hair, the brown skin. But she turned around, and she didn’t have those hazel eyes. I knew it couldn’t be her.

Perfect doesn’t exist, but she’s the only one who’s ever come remotely close. But it wasn’t her. Seeing her might have actually been worse, so I probably dodged a bullet. But I would have liked the chance to risk it.

A knock on my office door interrupts my episode of self-pity. I turn around in my leather desk chair. 

“It’s open!”

Mark, one of my senior vice presidents, comes in. “Hey, Travis. Did you get a look at the latest numbers?” He sits down in a chair across from my large wooden desk.

“Yeah.” I glance at my computer screen. “They look fine.”

Mark looks at me expectantly. “That’s it?”

“Yeah. They’re fine. Why? What were you expecting me to say?”

Mark shakes his head and chuckles. “Dude, last week you were on everyone’s ass about getting the latest numbers as soon as possible. Now you finally have them, and you don’t seem to care. What’s going on?”

I sigh. “Guy I knew in college. He’s getting married. The last of my college friends to tie the knot.”

“Don’t worry. I’m sure the first wave of divorces is just around the corner,” Mark jokes.

“And I saw a woman who I thought was Gia James for a second.” I shake my head at the memory of the woman in the café. When I’d taken a closer look, I’d realized she didn’t look that much like her. But that jolt I felt when I thought it was her, my first love…you could bottle it and sell it for more than heroin.

“Gia James, park ranger?” Mark muses thoughtfully, using his superhero moniker for her. “The one who broke your heart, right?”

“One and the same.”

“Shit, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. It was a mindfuck, to say the least.”

Gia was beautiful, smart, and passionate about nature and conservation. Although neither subject was of particular interest to me, her passion inspired me. 

She’s one of the few people whose ambition matched my own, and hers was based on principle, too, not just the almighty dollar. Her drive only served to fuel my fire.

I don’t know if I’d be the success I am today without her. I come close to saying the words out loud, but then I say them only silently to myself. I’ve never felt so strongly for anyone. 

Just thinking about her long, curly hair and those golden hazel eyes against the dark skin and her perfect cheekbones sends a shudder through me.

“Why did you guys break up again?”

“I proposed.”

“And I assume it didn’t go well?”

“No, it did not. ‘Not yet.’ That was her answer. Not yet.”

“And what was the holdup for her? She wanted you to make another billion first?”

“Worse. That would have been attainable. Something I could control at least. She said she needed more time to build her career. I said I needed more time to find someone who was worth waiting for. I gave her a choice. If she couldn’t become my wife until she was in a ‘better place,’ she wouldn’t be my girlfriend. And she chose.”

“Right, now I remember. Maybe you’re better off,” he says, and I laugh.

“Oh yeah. I got over her.”

“With the help of a lot of gorgeous women.”

“Best way to get over someone is to get under someone.” I grin. “Or on top of them, as the case may be.”

“And then out of the blue you think you see her, and she drags you down again. Well, don’t question yourself.”

“It’s hard not to think ‘what if?’ With everything today, I’ve probably thought about her more in the last few hours than in the last ten years.”

“Repression only works for so long,” Mark tells me. 

“And the end was shitty. It really screwed me up. But the rest of it. The way it ended was really only the bad part.”

“You proposed for a reason. You don’t do anything without being absolutely certain. That’s why you’ve been thinking about it so much today, I’m sure. Do you ever think…”

“‘What if I waited a little longer?’ Yeah. I do. Of course I do.”

Mark nods. “Do you know where she is now?”

“No. But I can find out.”

“I think you should,” he advises. “I’ve seen you over the last ten years, and you’ve had a lot of fun, but no one who’s held your interest. No one you’ve even talked about as seriously as we’re talking about Gia now.”

I get ready to argue, but he’s probably right. I don’t like admitting that someone has a hold on me – not a business competitor and definitely not an ex-girlfriend.

“It probably didn’t work out for a reason.”

“What if the real reason is your ultimatum? Maybe it would have worked out.”

“I’ve never known you to be such a romantic, Mark.”

Then a question pops into my mind. If I could have another chance to be with Gia, would I take it? I know if I had that chance, I’d regret not finding out, just the way I’ve always regretted the ultimatum. That wasn’t even something that took time to realize. I regretted it the moment the words left my mouth. I was young and arrogant then. Now I’m older and arrogant.

Maybe it’s time to make a change. 

“Travis, you have to try. A woman like Gia is one in a million. I’ve had regrets, too, in life. It’s easier to know what someone should do when you watch them grapple with theirs.”

I roll my eyes while another question plagues me. What if I find out that I hurt her too badly for the damage to ever be fixed? Worse, what if she’s already married to someone else? And what if I had to actually live with the idea that it really isn’t possible? 

Even if she’s single, I’d understand why she’d say no. And I don’t know if I have it in me to try to convince her to change her mind.

Mark glances at his watch and stands up. “On that note, I have to get home. I promised my wife and son that I’d leave early today to take them into San Francisco for a ball game.”

“Have fun,” I say distractedly as Mark leaves. Even before he closes the door, I turn back around to stare out the large window.

Are second chances even possible? I guess there’s only one way to find out. I hadn’t felt the bolt of pure lust that shot through me when I saw the woman I thought was Gia in years. Maybe even since I last saw Gia. I had forgotten it until now. 

But it’s something worth following. Worth listening to. Worth trying for.

I thought that I’d extinguished those feelings a long time ago. They were too painful, too wrapped up in regret and rejection to ever think about. 

Without letting myself think too much about what I’m doing, I turn back to my computer and quickly type her name into a search engine. Three clicks later, I find her.

“Holy. Shit.” How could I not have known this whole time?